Tuesday, October 03, 2006

#24

READ TO DO LIST FIRST

Dear {insert name here},

Hi! Remember me? I'm only like, your BEST FRIEND! But I'm sick and tired of you treating me like I don't exist. I mean, seriously, I'm a pretty forgiving sort of a guy, but I do have a LIMIT. I know I am like a literal nobody but sometimes I think you think the only reason I exist is to stop somebody sitting next to me. By the way, when I say something like: "I'm not really hungry, do you want me to eat my food?" I am being SARCASTIC!

You never talk to me often enough anyway, and when I do, you just cut in! I don't actually remember the last time you properly listened to me despite you alway bodly stating that I'm your friend. Oh woe to me! It's really annoying never being taken seriously and having absolutely no muscles. I try to work out but it seems to be having no effect on me. Anyway you're big and strong and why can't you fight for me, huh?

So anyway I had a talk with myself and you're out of the group. I am sick, tired and disgusted of being a nobody so from now on I'M NO LONGER GOING TO BE YOUR INVISIBLE FRIEND! AS OF NOW I'M GOING TO TAKE OVER YOUR BODY AND YOU ARE GOING TO SEE HOW YOU LIKE BEING INVISIBLE!
{INSERT EVIL LAUGH}

Sincerely yours forever, or should I say, you will be mine forever,

Bob.

{mentally insert Dr. Who or similar music}

1 comment:

C.J.M. said...

Well Nathan, this was very interesting and well written, but did you have to scare me with the last line?