Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Eepybird.com update
I'm not sure if you know what it is and if so I'm not sure you've ever seen it and if so I'm not sure you even care. But: www.eepybird.com has created a new video and has released an exciting preview. I can't wait.
What I'm Thinking
Yes! My basketball team is straight into the Grand Final with two weeks rest! I get a trophy! I get a trophy! I get a trophy! I get a trophy! I get a... Anyway, just a random thought, do any of you feel compassion for funny people doing corny and, let's face it, rather pethetic jokes that are from a script as a host to shows that mainly play back old television etc. moments? Some people seem suited to the job and I for one just feel an inkling of pity but then I'm over it. But I think one of the saddest things in the world are funny people doing that. Oh well, couldn't think of anything else to write so that will have to do. Bye for a now. :)
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Find The Woman
"Oh, has the punchline come already?" Isn't the highest praise I've ever received from one of my jokes, especially from one of my parents (my Dad to be precise), and I would of much preferred a dumb silence but apparently my costume is just too distracting to listen to what I've said, especially because I couldn't really give any hints in the actual movie to where the punchline was and I had to rely on how quick people get jokes. Hopefully the subtitles help for people to listen.
Anyway, the main joke was in a book called 'Laughter is the spice of life' but was a quote from Sam Levenson. For the record and all of those really witty people out there, I threw in one really subtle joke that I bet nobody is going to catch. Anyway, once again I hope you enjoy/ed it.
Friday, October 20, 2006
The Door
"I can only show you the door. You have to walk through it"
Apparently Jemimah (my dog) decided to do just that. On reflection it might just fascinate me because I was there watching it, but hopefully you get the idea. The bell might of been the trigger to come and have a look to see if their masters are leaving, but I tried ringing it and she looked up but quickly saw there was no point getting in. I tried pretending that I was leaving by myself but apparently Jemimah knows I haven't got a liscence yet either. Now we've learnt to shut the main door when we are leaving.
It is real tricky to get her out of the garage without food and Dad used once let her in the car when he went to pick me up from basketball and she scared the bejjeeves out of me when I got in.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy/ed the movie.
Monday, October 16, 2006
My To Do List again
Hello! I have just last night learnt of a new skill Jemimah (my dog) has learnt all by myself and I think it is really cool and I am giong to video and publish it on this blog in the next couple of days. Anyway, these are a few more To Do List thingies.
Once again if you haven't yet read the original My To Do List now is a good time. In fact I consider this to be the perfect time unless you know earth-destructing-aliens demanding to take you to your leader are knocking on the door. Take it from me, it's generally better not to keep them waiting.
50. (A Bronze or something entry!) For a prank call (not that I endorse them of course), pretend to be a telemarketer and offer a once-in-a-lifetime-sale: a brick. Make up fantastical tales about the brick and see how long you can keep them on the phone. Time it and start a competion with everyone for the highest score and label him/her the fastest talking pranker! :)
51. Enter a school office (preferbly not one in a school you go to) and while the office ladies are having a 'gossip session' put a heavy book on the green 'speak' button on the microphone and press the nessecary buttons so it goes to the whole school except within earshot of the staffroom and office inconspicually. An escape car and a disguise (actually that should of been first) might be usefull at this time. Come to think of it so would lawyer from #40.
52. Buy a permanant team of lawyers to help pull of some if not most of this.
Once again if you haven't yet read the original My To Do List now is a good time. In fact I consider this to be the perfect time unless you know earth-destructing-aliens demanding to take you to your leader are knocking on the door. Take it from me, it's generally better not to keep them waiting.
50. (A Bronze or something entry!) For a prank call (not that I endorse them of course), pretend to be a telemarketer and offer a once-in-a-lifetime-sale: a brick. Make up fantastical tales about the brick and see how long you can keep them on the phone. Time it and start a competion with everyone for the highest score and label him/her the fastest talking pranker! :)
51. Enter a school office (preferbly not one in a school you go to) and while the office ladies are having a 'gossip session' put a heavy book on the green 'speak' button on the microphone and press the nessecary buttons so it goes to the whole school except within earshot of the staffroom and office inconspicually. An escape car and a disguise (actually that should of been first) might be usefull at this time. Come to think of it so would lawyer from #40.
52. Buy a permanant team of lawyers to help pull of some if not most of this.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Take A Look At This
This is a really interesting thing which I think is some sort of visual simulation thingy that shows the co2 emitions, deaths and births in all the countries around the world. I think it is really good besides the fact that it makes Australia look near non-existent. Anyway, I recommend the following website if you have ADSL/Broadband/fast internet:
http://www.breathingearth.net/
Actually, while we are on the subject go to www.eepybird.com too.
Anyway, I have posted a couple of jokes on my blog that I have to admit weren't from real life and were from a subscription to www.cybersalt.org or the Pastor Tim's webiste (google it it is worth it).
And anyway, this is one of the jokes: "A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and said, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?""Really!?" he said, "Have you tried mouthwash?"
http://www.breathingearth.net/
Actually, while we are on the subject go to www.eepybird.com too.
Anyway, I have posted a couple of jokes on my blog that I have to admit weren't from real life and were from a subscription to www.cybersalt.org or the Pastor Tim's webiste (google it it is worth it).
And anyway, this is one of the jokes: "A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and said, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?""Really!?" he said, "Have you tried mouthwash?"
My Uncle
One of my uncles was one of those people in the deli and he told me the following story:
One of the busiest times for a meat-department manager in a supermarket occurs when there is a sale on particular cuts. When we put cross-rib roasts on sale one day the result was predictable. I'd bring out a cart of roasts and before I could get them on display, women customers were jostling for their share. Three times I returned with a cart of roasts and three times they were gone before I got to the counter.
The fourth time out I noticed that a man who had quietly been watching began to approach my cart. He elbowed his way in, pushing and shoving, and finally grasped a roast. Before he could retreat from the crush, an irate woman glared at him and said, "Sir, how about being a gentleman!"
The fellow turned and said, "Ma'am, for twenty minutes I've been a gentleman, now I'm going to be a lady!" And with that he smiled, took his roast and walked away.
One of the busiest times for a meat-department manager in a supermarket occurs when there is a sale on particular cuts. When we put cross-rib roasts on sale one day the result was predictable. I'd bring out a cart of roasts and before I could get them on display, women customers were jostling for their share. Three times I returned with a cart of roasts and three times they were gone before I got to the counter.
The fourth time out I noticed that a man who had quietly been watching began to approach my cart. He elbowed his way in, pushing and shoving, and finally grasped a roast. Before he could retreat from the crush, an irate woman glared at him and said, "Sir, how about being a gentleman!"
The fellow turned and said, "Ma'am, for twenty minutes I've been a gentleman, now I'm going to be a lady!" And with that he smiled, took his roast and walked away.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
More To Do List
(If you haven't read To Do list than do so now)
49. Go to my blog site and continually press refresh so that there it looks like a lot of people have visited it (feel free to do that as well. We can all work together on this one).
49. Go to my blog site and continually press refresh so that there it looks like a lot of people have visited it (feel free to do that as well. We can all work together on this one).
Warning Sign At Zoo
Although fun to visit, zoos do pose certain perils. But to whom? A sign posted in the Knoxville Zoo in Tennessee cautioned visitors:
"Please be safe. Do not sit, climb, or lean on the zoo fences. If you fall, animals could eat you, and that would make them very sick."
I just love those sorts of signs:)
"Please be safe. Do not sit, climb, or lean on the zoo fences. If you fall, animals could eat you, and that would make them very sick."
I just love those sorts of signs:)
Monday, October 09, 2006
Update on #36
(Read To Do list if you haven't already)
No Data YOU SEARCHED FOR: chocolate book
WE FOUND : 0 records.
Good!!!
No Data YOU SEARCHED FOR: chocolate book
WE FOUND : 0 records.
Good!!!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
#24
READ TO DO LIST FIRST
Dear {insert name here},
Hi! Remember me? I'm only like, your BEST FRIEND! But I'm sick and tired of you treating me like I don't exist. I mean, seriously, I'm a pretty forgiving sort of a guy, but I do have a LIMIT. I know I am like a literal nobody but sometimes I think you think the only reason I exist is to stop somebody sitting next to me. By the way, when I say something like: "I'm not really hungry, do you want me to eat my food?" I am being SARCASTIC!
You never talk to me often enough anyway, and when I do, you just cut in! I don't actually remember the last time you properly listened to me despite you alway bodly stating that I'm your friend. Oh woe to me! It's really annoying never being taken seriously and having absolutely no muscles. I try to work out but it seems to be having no effect on me. Anyway you're big and strong and why can't you fight for me, huh?
So anyway I had a talk with myself and you're out of the group. I am sick, tired and disgusted of being a nobody so from now on I'M NO LONGER GOING TO BE YOUR INVISIBLE FRIEND! AS OF NOW I'M GOING TO TAKE OVER YOUR BODY AND YOU ARE GOING TO SEE HOW YOU LIKE BEING INVISIBLE!
{INSERT EVIL LAUGH}
Sincerely yours forever, or should I say, you will be mine forever,
Bob.
{mentally insert Dr. Who or similar music}
Dear {insert name here},
Hi! Remember me? I'm only like, your BEST FRIEND! But I'm sick and tired of you treating me like I don't exist. I mean, seriously, I'm a pretty forgiving sort of a guy, but I do have a LIMIT. I know I am like a literal nobody but sometimes I think you think the only reason I exist is to stop somebody sitting next to me. By the way, when I say something like: "I'm not really hungry, do you want me to eat my food?" I am being SARCASTIC!
You never talk to me often enough anyway, and when I do, you just cut in! I don't actually remember the last time you properly listened to me despite you alway bodly stating that I'm your friend. Oh woe to me! It's really annoying never being taken seriously and having absolutely no muscles. I try to work out but it seems to be having no effect on me. Anyway you're big and strong and why can't you fight for me, huh?
So anyway I had a talk with myself and you're out of the group. I am sick, tired and disgusted of being a nobody so from now on I'M NO LONGER GOING TO BE YOUR INVISIBLE FRIEND! AS OF NOW I'M GOING TO TAKE OVER YOUR BODY AND YOU ARE GOING TO SEE HOW YOU LIKE BEING INVISIBLE!
{INSERT EVIL LAUGH}
Sincerely yours forever, or should I say, you will be mine forever,
Bob.
{mentally insert Dr. Who or similar music}
Monday, October 02, 2006
My To Do List
Some of you might scoff, but indeed I do have a To Do list. Most of which I fully intend to do. Okay some of which. I started a while ago in my school diary and this is the first time ever to appear typed up aka: neat/readable writing.
I hope you enjoy it and suggestions are encouraged.
To Do List
aka: Things To Do When Really Bored
and have got way too much time on my
hands
1. Make a movie. Take one picture of grass every 3 days at 5:00 PM precisely so that I can watch the grass grow whenever I am at a computer and not just when I am Outside.
2. Buy/ Hire stormtrooper (starwars) costumes and dress a 'battalion' of people, go to different towns and march down the streets. Buy/ hire a Yoda costume as well and have someone dressed up in it tip-toeing after the stormtroopers.
3. Dress up in KFC uniform and walk into a pet shop and request a puppy saying my boss wanted one. When the person hands you one weigh him in your hands, poke him then say: "No, no, this wouldn't do at all. Don't you have one a little bit more 'plump'?" If the person says yes than look at it and say: "No, that's just not good enough," and stom out, if the person says no than say: "Hmm! Pethetic!" or something of simmalar inference and storm out.
4. Put a ton of bubble stuff in a public fountain.
5. Go into a music store and ask for a G-String.
6. Make a list of appropiate songs for appropiate circumstances.
7. To video a prank or anything really get a spikey punk hairstyle and pop (or put or shove I suppose it doesn't make a real difference really) a camera in there.
8. Go to a friends/enemies place at night and give a present to their parents to give to put in their room which of course contains a particully loud alarm clock. The parents will probably catch on but you could bribe them to anyway if your rich and if your not rich then get rich.
9. Convince someone to go to a disco dressed as and act like a Jamacain to see peoples reactions.
10. Make a movie of someone getting frustrated at a computer and smashing it starring me.
11. Get a time freezer machine (they're quite cheap currently), go on a maths show, get asked a question, freeze time, spend all the time you need to work on it, unfreeze time and look like a complete mathematical genius.
12. Plan A) Become a millionaire, hire a lawyer to convince science teacher to blow up the school in an experiment.
Plan B) Become a millionaire, hire a lawyer to convince science teacher to blow SOMETHING, ANYTHING (except for me) up.
Plan C) Concentrate on my goal of getting more than $30.
13. Pour baby powder into someone's hat so it looks like dandruff. Probably more effective if you do it to someone old aka middle aged. If you're middle aged forget I said/wrote that.
14. Finish 'The Siege' Movie.
15. BETTER NOT DO THIS IN ORDER OR ELSE ILL NEVER FINISH IT.
16. Make a motorbike game for PC where you have to run over as many cane toads as you can in a set time (each one naturally making a pop like they do in real life)
17. Make a 15,000 word essay on why people laugh and make it really boring for irony's sake.
18. Download eepybird.com music. (Note: If you've never been there than please do I highly recommend it.
19. Find a way to download man of the house music for my mobile (anybody know how?)
20. Random Fact: Having to Much of the gum called 'Extra' may have a laxative effect.
21. {In Different Handwriting:} Give Nick, Aaron and Rozzo some money. {In mine:} Nice try Rory.
22. Become a millionaire and then be really stingy and pay people mentioned in #21 $5.
23. Do some homework in invisible ink. I am sick and tired of people saying they did but they really didn't.
{Ticked} (actually I did do this one and my teacher said after examining it: "Your'e a nut." I found this increddibly intactful.)
24. Write a letter on behalf of someones 'Bob' (invisible friend) to ungrateful owners.
{Ticked} (actually I migh post that one.)
25. Actually do one of these for a change.
26. Congrats, Nathan; you ticked off two (#23 and #15) things at once. Good job! Pat yourself on the back.
{Ticked}
27. You've done 3! Amazing! Do it again!
{Ticked}
28. 4! Amazing! But don't put that sort of thing in here again it's getting boring.
29. Make a movie that is action packed about something really boring.
eg: delivering a lectures, parliment meetings etc.
-NICK
30. Make this list into a book, sell for lots of $$$, give 1/4 to best friend (Nick).
-Nick
I'm not sure if that would work well now.
31. Prank call Rory.
-Nick
32. Prank call Nathan.
-Nathan
(Nick's note: you'll need 2 phones).
I've got two phones.
-Nathan
So do I.
-Nick
Have you got 3?
-Nathan
33. Listen to me for once.
-Nick
I've forgotten the music to man of the house :(! Ask somebody for it.
I hope you enjoy it and suggestions are encouraged.
To Do List
aka: Things To Do When Really Bored
and have got way too much time on my
hands
1. Make a movie. Take one picture of grass every 3 days at 5:00 PM precisely so that I can watch the grass grow whenever I am at a computer and not just when I am Outside.
2. Buy/ Hire stormtrooper (starwars) costumes and dress a 'battalion' of people, go to different towns and march down the streets. Buy/ hire a Yoda costume as well and have someone dressed up in it tip-toeing after the stormtroopers.
3. Dress up in KFC uniform and walk into a pet shop and request a puppy saying my boss wanted one. When the person hands you one weigh him in your hands, poke him then say: "No, no, this wouldn't do at all. Don't you have one a little bit more 'plump'?" If the person says yes than look at it and say: "No, that's just not good enough," and stom out, if the person says no than say: "Hmm! Pethetic!" or something of simmalar inference and storm out.
4. Put a ton of bubble stuff in a public fountain.
5. Go into a music store and ask for a G-String.
6. Make a list of appropiate songs for appropiate circumstances.
7. To video a prank or anything really get a spikey punk hairstyle and pop (or put or shove I suppose it doesn't make a real difference really) a camera in there.
8. Go to a friends/enemies place at night and give a present to their parents to give to put in their room which of course contains a particully loud alarm clock. The parents will probably catch on but you could bribe them to anyway if your rich and if your not rich then get rich.
9. Convince someone to go to a disco dressed as and act like a Jamacain to see peoples reactions.
10. Make a movie of someone getting frustrated at a computer and smashing it starring me.
11. Get a time freezer machine (they're quite cheap currently), go on a maths show, get asked a question, freeze time, spend all the time you need to work on it, unfreeze time and look like a complete mathematical genius.
12. Plan A) Become a millionaire, hire a lawyer to convince science teacher to blow up the school in an experiment.
Plan B) Become a millionaire, hire a lawyer to convince science teacher to blow SOMETHING, ANYTHING (except for me) up.
Plan C) Concentrate on my goal of getting more than $30.
13. Pour baby powder into someone's hat so it looks like dandruff. Probably more effective if you do it to someone old aka middle aged. If you're middle aged forget I said/wrote that.
14. Finish 'The Siege' Movie.
15. BETTER NOT DO THIS IN ORDER OR ELSE ILL NEVER FINISH IT.
16. Make a motorbike game for PC where you have to run over as many cane toads as you can in a set time (each one naturally making a pop like they do in real life)
17. Make a 15,000 word essay on why people laugh and make it really boring for irony's sake.
18. Download eepybird.com music. (Note: If you've never been there than please do I highly recommend it.
19. Find a way to download man of the house music for my mobile (anybody know how?)
20. Random Fact: Having to Much of the gum called 'Extra' may have a laxative effect.
21. {In Different Handwriting:} Give Nick, Aaron and Rozzo some money. {In mine:} Nice try Rory.
22. Become a millionaire and then be really stingy and pay people mentioned in #21 $5.
23. Do some homework in invisible ink. I am sick and tired of people saying they did but they really didn't.
{Ticked} (actually I did do this one and my teacher said after examining it: "Your'e a nut." I found this increddibly intactful.)
24. Write a letter on behalf of someones 'Bob' (invisible friend) to ungrateful owners.
{Ticked} (actually I migh post that one.)
25. Actually do one of these for a change.
26. Congrats, Nathan; you ticked off two (#23 and #15) things at once. Good job! Pat yourself on the back.
{Ticked}
27. You've done 3! Amazing! Do it again!
{Ticked}
28. 4! Amazing! But don't put that sort of thing in here again it's getting boring.
29. Make a movie that is action packed about something really boring.
eg: delivering a lectures, parliment meetings etc.
-NICK
30. Make this list into a book, sell for lots of $$$, give 1/4 to best friend (Nick).
-Nick
I'm not sure if that would work well now.
31. Prank call Rory.
-Nick
32. Prank call Nathan.
-Nathan
(Nick's note: you'll need 2 phones).
I've got two phones.
-Nathan
So do I.
-Nick
Have you got 3?
-Nathan
33. Listen to me for once.
-Nick
I've forgotten the music to man of the house :(! Ask somebody for it.
34. Find out a carlton's (a team in the AFL) email and send a slideshow: first slide saying 'the pictorial highlights for their season', the second saying 'the end'.
35. Send the entire 'Carlton highlights' powerpoint to the entire Carlton club.
36. Get a lawyer so you can pull off 25.
37. Walk around town in a Santa suit singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' and get someone to film you and the other shocked faces. Send it to 'Australia's Funniest Home Videos' and win cash.
-Nick
Saddest thing in to do list.
38. Okay these aren't worth putting in.
40. Buy a permanant lawyer because it seems that it might be useful to pull off some of this.
41.. .......
-Nick
42. Film an adversiment of someone getting angry at a computer and bashing it up and then have words going under it saying:
It is good to express your emotions
But there is a line
Having trouble? 1800 HELPMENOWU
43. {in a browninsh smudged writing} ENGOY THIS!
Fascinating- I never knew that you could write with chocalate before! Oh I know!
{crossed out} 44. Do homework in chocalate. No,Better...
44. Write a proper novel (which I AM capable of doing) but in chocalate. Find instructions on how to make it into a proper albeit unpublished book.
45. ENTER #35 INTO GUINESS WORLD RECORDS!!!
I Fully intend to do this and I will keep you posted.
46. Create a machine where it zips up completely stuffed and overflowing suitcases.
{Complete with a rough design}
47. Coles Natural Spring Water has a 'promise' on the label: if you didn't love it, return it to any store at all for a full refund or a replacement. It tasted to much like water for me so take a survey to see how many stores really do that I'd imagine not too many. Then see how many Cole stores do that.
48. Hire a celebrity look-alot-like and send him to a random place, take a picture of him, sell it to the papparazi and by the time they figure it you'll be laughing all the way to you 3 million dollar mansion (but now I think of it, that probably happens all the time).
There is actually 63 in my diary but I took some out. Expect more in the future.
Back From Holidays
Okay so I haven't done a blog for awhile. I had been working on the movie which um, isn't finished. CGI isn't excatly the fastest way to make a movie. Anyway I got back from holidays in Tasmania a day ago and it was my birthday yesterday! Anyway I had a couple of ideas to put on my blog that might just make up for lost time.
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